Rewriting My First Book

I had done it! I had finished my first fantasy book and was prepared to find an agent, or seek publication from an open submission publishing house. I had a close friend read it and she liked it. That's it! That feedback from one person was enough to solidify my belief that I was ready for publication. I sent it off to DAW publishing and received my first NO. I cried my eyes out. I even drove to a cemetery and screamed in my car to ensure that no one would see me. It was beyond devastating. I had written a book and thought people should have been clamoring to publish it, even salivating at the thought to have such a book on their list. That's how it worked, right? Your write a book, someone publishes it (without much trouble), and you see your book on the shelves of bookstores everywhere. How stupid I was! I did very little research and didn't even edit my book to perfection. It wasn't terrible, but I thought, "that's what an editor is for, right?"

I know what you're thinking reading this. What an idiot! And you are not far from the truth. I thought the publishing world was open to new authors and books. Ha! It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle, as someone once said. I forgot it was an industry driven by money, not unlike everything else. How else do you think we ended up with thousands of vampire novels!

After many nos, and wringing out my pillow after each one, I moved on to writing my first science fiction novel, Genesis. I continued writing several more fantasy books in the same series as my first book as I wrote in the world of science fiction. And as I stated in my previous blog, I wrote the first four of my fantasy books in first person (I am kicking myself for doing so now). With the completion of Genesis, which is written in limited third person, I went back and reread my first book, A Butterfly's Kiss.

IT WAS PAINFUL!!

I apologize to all those who had to read it while it was in that condition. The writing was simple with a lot of telling, the main character needed some growth in the book, and the plot was the simplest thing in the world. I cannot tell you how grateful I was that I received so many nos! What if the book had been published in that form? I can guarantee that I would have never sold a single copy, and even if I did, no one would have bought another book of mine again. The book was meant as an adult fantasy series, but read like a YA book. It needed work!

I opened a new document, a blank page staring at me, and started typing (this time in third person limited). Much of the first copy was useful as a guide, but that is where it ended. I added multiple POVs, excited to explore my other characters. Don't get my wrong. The main character will always hold a special place in my heart, but without the other characters, it would be impossible to appreciate the entire world I was building. Yes, I want you to love the characters, but I also want you to long for the world in which they live. If the world is unbearable, why would you want to return to it? You wouldn't.

Rewriting a book may not sound difficult, but when it's over 100,000 words in length, it becomes a tedious and painful process. As I started the process, I discovered so much more I wanted to explore and change. So I did. The book has more than doubled in size, swelling to over 200,000 words. I say it is still in its first draft stage despite having reread it and edited it multiple times.

When I think back to my very first draft of the book, I still cringe and thank God it didn't get published. With the first book rewritten, I have turned my focus to rewriting the other three books in the fantasy series that I wrote in first person. Rewriting the second book, I have noticed many things that need to be addressed in order to support the world I had built in the first book.

Sometimes, the only way forward is to start over again, applying what you learned along the way. I am still learning and will never stop learning. I still have a physical copy of A Butterfly's Kiss, which takes a 3" binder to hold it, as a reminder of how far I have come. Even as I write on other series, whether sci-fi or fantasy, I think back to that first book and work that much harder to push myself to write better. Today, as I write, I still doubt myself, wondering if my books are any good or if they will ever see the light of day. But I do know one thing, I am leaps and bounds ahead of where I was when I first began, and I suppose that is something to take to the bank.